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To Grieve Is to Carry Another Time

A Memoir

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Formats and Prices

On Sale
Dec 1, 2026
Page Count
144 pages
Publisher
Little, Brown and Company
ISBN-13
9780316426213

Price

$14.99

Price

$19.99 CAD

Format

  1. Hardcover
  2. Audiobook Download (Unabridged)

Format:

  1. ebook $14.99 $19.99 CAD
  2. Hardcover $28.00 $37.00 CAD
  3. Audiobook Download (Unabridged) $18.99

Preorder from Retailers:

  • Amazon
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From the critically acclaimed author of The Sense of Wonder and Craft in the Real World comes a deeply personal, poignant memoir, weaving together Salesses' multiple identities: adoptee, Asian American, husband, father, and, finally, widower

Matthew Salesses has spent his career writing about the power of storytelling, but he wasn’t prepared for the story of his own life to fall apart. A Korean American adoptee, Salesses grew up unsure of who he was—until he fell in love and started a family with a native Korean, Cathreen. But when Cathreen was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer, the map they made together suddenly led nowhere. After her untimely death, Salesses realized he would need new paths, new stories, new philosophies, new ways of understanding the world, to navigate the unknown landscape of loss.

To Grieve Is To Carry Another Time is a stunning, thought-provoking meditation on what grief can offer the grieving, illuminating the way to embracing yourself, finding your community, and even loving and changing the world.

Genre:

  • Nonfiction
  • Biography & Autobiography
  • Memoirs

Matthew Salesses is the author of The Sense of Wonder (Little, Brown, 2023), Craft in the Real World (Catapult Books, 2021), Disappear Doppelgänger Disappear (Little A, 2020), and other books. He was adopted from Korea and lives in Blacksburg, VA, where he is an Associate Professor of Creative Writing in the Virginia Tech MFA Program.

  • "To Grieve Is To Carry Another Time is a stunning and wholly unique exploration of grief as an entire, ever-changing universe that lives within a person and every place they touch. Matthew Salesses has done incredible work to ask readers to look closely at all of the moving parts that exist not just in loss, but also in its aftermath: guilt, anxiety, frustration, longing. All of the parts that make up the machine. This is a special, impressively honest and vulnerable book."
    Hanif Abdurraqib, author of There’s Always This Year and A Little Devil in America
  • “An exquisite jewel of a book that held me captive from start to finish. Salesses's prose gleams on every page—at turns philosophical and wrenching, always full of wisdom, intelligence, and heart.”
    Melissa Febos, national bestselling author of Girlhood and The Dry Season
  • "To Grieve Is To Carry Another Time is an examination of grief in its profound complexity, centering Salesses’s deeply felt lived experience within an expansive constellation of scholars, novelists, poets, sociologists, memoirists, anthropologists, neurophysiologists, middle-grade and picture book authors, literary and cultural critics, and philosophers. Its structure is perfection and his scene work precise. Grief is born of pain, and we feel it in these pages (there is a single sentence so devastating I felt my body break). Grief is also, Salesses argues, desire. And love. As someone wrestling with my own seemingly impossible grief—and hell, aren’t we all?—Salesses is a north star, a challenge to be better, and permission to save my own life, and we need such a balm and such a voice."
    Megan Stielstra, author of The Wrong Way to Save Your Life

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